In our last lesson we saw that it is possible to provoke our children both to anger and to discouragement. Today we’re going to look at some commentaries to help us better understand how we might provoke them, and how we can nurture and admonish them instead.
Assignment: Pray for the Holy Spirit to help you see how this verse may apply to your life and the way you relate to your children.
- Open your notebook to a new page, divide it into two columns, and label the left side “Provoke” and the right side “Nurture and Admonition.”
- Then go to Ephesians 6:4 in Blue Letter Bible.
- Click on the green “Commentaries” button in the “Tools” menu.
- Scroll through the list of commentaries until you see Jamieson, Fausset & Brown, and then click on “Commentary on Ephesians 6.”
- Scroll down to comments on verse 4, and note, first of all what is said about fathers and about the inherent weaknesses of fathers and mothers. Note that this verse applies not just to fathers, but also to mothers.
- Then read the rest of the comments for this verse. Record insights about provoke and about nurture and admonition in the appropriate columns in your notebook.
- Use your browser’s back arrow to return to the list of commentaries, and select Matthew Henry.
- Click on “Commentary on Ephesians 6″ and scroll down until you see “II. The duty of parents,” etc.
- Read the section on “Do not provoke your children to wrath,” continuing to record new insights in your notebook.
- Next go to www.biblestudytools.com, another Bible study website which includes John Gill’s Exposition of the Bible, a helpful, verse-by-verse commentary.
- Type “Eph 6:4″ in the search box and click the yellow “Find It!” button.
- Below the text of the verse, scroll down in the list of commentaries to John Gill’s Exposition of the Bible.
- Then click the link for Ephesians 6:4.
- Continue listing in your notebook the information about provoke and nurture/admonition.
- If you have extra time, search on Colossians 3:21 in Bible Study Tools and read John Gill’s comments on this verse as well.
- When you have finished reading all three commentaries, you will have a list of ways we may provoke our children and a list of ways we can nurture and admonish them. Prayerfully review these lists.
Are you doing anything that could provoke your children and tempt them to anger? Are your children displaying any attitudes or behavior problems that might be due in part to your own attitudes and actions? What are you actively doing to nurture, instruct, correct, and exhort these children God has entrusted to you?
- Meditate on this verse throughout the day. Watch and listen to yourself as you interact (or don’t interact) with your children. Ask the Lord to help you see yourself through your children’s eyes (and through His eyes).
Because you’re still in the process of becoming more and more like Jesus, you’ll probably see areas where you need to change. Praise God! Remember who you are in Christ — redeemed, forgiven, and in the process of being transformed into the image of the One who redeemed you. You are “his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”
Our children don’t need us to be perfect. They need us to be humble and honest and willing to repent. Ask forgiveness of your children. Ask a friend to pray with you and then check in with her on a regular basis to share how you’re doing. Seek the Lord’s strength and grace to become what He has created and empowered you to become.
- Memorize Ephesians 6:4. It’s a good verse to have in our hearts where the Holy Spirit can use it.
For children:
- Take out the drawings you started on Day 6 and have the children add a drawing to illustrate the command to children in Ephesians 6:1-3.
- Then read Ephesians 6:4 and explain what the verse means. If you have seen in your own study ways that you have been provoking your children, confess this to them and ask their forgiveness.
- Then have the children draw another picture to illustrate the command to fathers in verse 4.
- For older children, review the notes you have taken from commentaries and discuss what you learned about bringing them up in “the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” Nurturing and admonishing doesn’t mean our children will always be happy with us. It means we will correct, discipline, warn, rebuke, and teach — with love and compassion. This is our duty as parents, and a proof of our love when done under the guidance of the Holy Spirit.