Children are commanded to obey their parents. That means their parents need to help them learn to obey. But even while we are seeking to do that, we can say and do things that make it much harder for our children to respect and obey us.
Today we’re going to look at Ephesians 6:4 and God’s command to fathers. We’re going to look briefly at several key words in the verse to help us better understand it.
Assignment: Pray, asking God to help you see yourself clearly in light of His Word.
Look at Ephesians 6:4 in the Bible you’ve been marking or in your printed text. Notice the word but that we’ve already circled in red? This verse is going to show us what we shouldn’t do, and what we should do instead.
- Open Blue Letter Bible and search on Eph. 6:4. Let’s start by looking briefly at the meaning of some of the key words in this verse. (Remember, if you’re using an app for Blue Letter Bible, you can get general directions for word studies here.)
- Click “Interlinear” in the “Tools” menu, and then click the Strong’s number for provoke. Like the Greek word for obey, this is another compound word; it combines two Greek words to form a new word.
- Record in your notebook the definition found under “Strong’s Definitions.”
- Notice under “Concordance Results Using KJV” that this Greek word appears only two times in the New Testament.
- Use your browser’s back arrow to return to the Interlinear, and look at the Strong’s number for bring. Do you see the downward pointing arrow to the right of the Strong’s number? That tells us that this English word joins with another English word to create the original Greek word. Notice the upward-pointing arrow to the right of the number for the word up. Bring and up are the English translation of the Greek word used in this verse. They both share the same Strong’s number because they actually form one Greek word. (The same thing is true of provoke and to wrath earlier in the verse.)
- Record the definition for bring up in your notebook. This definition gives a fuller meaning of the word, doesn’t it?
- Back up to the Interlinear again and click the number for nurture. This time look at the definitions listed under the heading “Outline of Biblical Usage,” since this gives the most complete consideration of the word. Record insights in your notebook.
- Go back to the Interlinear and look at one last word, admonition. Note the Strong’s definition of this word.
- Before we finish for today, read Colossians 3:21, a verse that closely parallels Ephesians 6:4. What reason does this verse give for not provoking our children? Add this to your “Commands and Reasons” chart.
- If instructing, correcting, and exhorting our children is contrasted with provoking them to anger or discouragement, what sorts of things might we do (or not do) that do provoke our children?
We’ll look at this verse a bit more tomorrow.
For children:
- Write the words of Ephesians 4:1 and 6:1-3 on a sheet of paper, put it in an envelope, and write the names of your children on the outside. Deliver this letter to your children at the dinner table. Here’s a chance to make this as dramatic as you’d like. Pretend you’re Paul’s messenger who has brought his letter to you. These are his special instructions to your children!
- Open the letter and read it out loud to your children. Talk about Paul writing these words to them because he loves them and wants them to be blessed and bring glory to God.
- Take the time to encourage your children by discussing the many ways you see them obeying you, and the many ways they please you. Discuss, too, one area in which they need to grow. Do they need to obey right away instead of waiting? Do they need to obey without complaining or arguing? Do they need to have a better attitude about obeying?
- Then work together on memorizing Ephesians 6:1-3 (or just Ephesians 6:1 for very young children).
- Discuss Ephesians 6:4 with your older children and teens. Ask them to share ways that you may be discouraging them or provoking them, and be ready to humble yourself and listen. Be willing to look at your relationship from their point of view. Then pray about what they have said. Is their assessment accurate? What will you do to make things better?